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Just when i thought my money problems have been more settled: Here comes a phone call telling me that Mr. Johan Lim has been a jerk not paying off his bills. A**? tell me about it. Nation wide look out for the A** that owes me a sum! I self declare myself as a jinX. It's true.. one problem after another. What's next! Tell me god.. why these games? retribution for the awful things i did, hurt or say? And now the problem goes back to square one which i HATE! the word 'MONEY' Been having a spinning headache since that phone call. Clueless how the hell i'm gonna settle the shit. I'm lost, I admit defeat. I admit I'm a loser at the word money.. i'm a loser at trusting people so much. The consequences of trusting.. what do i get back.. a whole load of shit, bills and what's next. I'm beginning to find disappointment in myself, my life and my opnions of people/things. I trusted a friend whom i thought was in need. What i got back was smack right in my face. I deserve it? Isn't that what's on your mind? Trust me i know. i wish clement was actually right awake now to be with me right at this very point of time. But he's not.. Eh, another disappointment isn't it. The only help i got was from egeria sending a whole wide nation search for A**hole LIm and this blog to get me through my frustrations and sadness since NO ONE is here for me. Isn't it funny? When people need you, you try to be there. but when one needs the person most... where are they? Maybe what people said was true, blogs make me write and scribble frustrations, lonliness and sadness. I am finding release in this.. what's new.. Avril's writing about her F*Cked up life. What's new for her? Stressed up with work, trying to be nice at home, trying to work things out with money where problems keep arising up without limit. I am a letdown, why am i still here. hurt and giving problems to every single one around. It's not easy being me. If i was meant to play a game of how strong i am, i admit i'm not as what u seem i am lord. I'm hurting inside and crying hiding away from this world that i live in. Been crying at night cause i keep think of mama, thinking of how pressured i am at work and thinking how am i going to settle it the right way like how a 22 would settle it. I wish i had comfort and strength from u lord. i need you to keep me strong. "Crying is a souce of strength" i am now.. tears of pain, confusion, disappointment and just need a hug and a shoulder for support. Where are you? "Come back to me, with all your heart, don't let fear keep us apart. Trees do bend, grow striaght and tall, so must we to others' call. Lord have i waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new life. " Dear lord, i'm trying my best at work, trying to live up to expectations of myself. For now, I'm tired. Give me rest of peace and comfort, a garden of white roses and a rainbow. that would make a tiny smile on my face.. love, your child...
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+*In Perfect SiLence*+
+*inteRest*!+
+*LookinG ARounD*!+
+*BoreD?*+
Click on START first, and wait till the background color changes. Once it changes, hit STOP! The addiction starts here..
+*Weren't they just memories?*!+
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*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 6:20 AM*