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Suppose I said I am on my best behavior And there are times I lose my worried mind Suppose I said Colors change for no good reason And words will go from poetry to prose And I, in time, will come around Would you want me when I'm not myself? Wait it out while I am someone else? As John Mayer sang this tune on my ipod my emotional side of me starts buliding I can't seem to find the right words or feelings Numb I may describe. I'm caught up with my insomia nights where I slept only at 4am last night, time check now is 10.29. Headed to a dearie's working place last night Excellent place for chilling out and have a good meal Rating of food = scrumptious Been spending some time alone with Dolor lately especially when I'm so overloaded with work and tuition on weekdays and of course my designer's gonna get occupied with attachment and assigments And lastly, Dolor's heading back to Perth next Feb. What more could explain our time spent together. Speaking of Aussie... I'm missing Egeria and Fel who's all so busy! Had a long conversation with my dearie fwen Seeing her muddled up and disturbed within her thought that was the last thing I wanted to see of her she is a dear fwen to me, someone who stood with me when I was happy or when I lost myself Issues of being with someone the constant reminders of "Maybe's" in our lives. Where do we really start and end? As the many people I met within these 2 months Short as it may seem I saw the many faces of intellectual, playful, confused, perky, uptight and people who lived life as they loved Yesterday was 10 Sept Maybe if things were different, I would be there. But looking at how the present was for you yesterday Maybe I wasn't good enough for you and I wouldn't change what's happening right now Why would I? Yesterday came a topic on how people viewed others Gestures, body language and simply feelings Do one really get affected by how he/she in the surrounding of people When do these masks of one appear within us? Would you ever know who's putting on this mask A mask of many characters, a form of deceive and the self-conscious need of being NOT yourself As every moments and events that I see and everyday that passed me I thank those who made me see and realise I was made this way for a reason a unique reason that no one else could be me I've began loving who I am, what I am The purpose of my life I'm stronger despite the scars that left by someone I loved I carry these scars with me with memories as I walk I really felt that I would walk this aisle with you and of all the dreams we shared That person wasn't meant for me and could never be me As I heard one say "The chaper is closed and the key is lost" No matter how hard you try to find that key The book in your life is lost within the many of those who lost someone they loved before I've opened a few chapters in my life that I never saw before Family, Love, Work, Friends, Feelings, Insecurity, Trust and Myself as an individual I took a month plus ago till this very morning to work these chapters Inscurity and Trust has come hand in hand where I don't see it as a downside of relationships I've removed the barrier in me, the lost feeling that pulled my instincts made me be who I never imagined I was Someday maybe... you would see the true side of me I thank God for his decisions in life where he brought me to see the world in a better light now when fate brings to old friends together as ones in love that friendships old and new accept me for being me I have grew to a certain level where I wouldn't go back to whom I was then For every moment I gave myself selflessly before I found what I needed right now at this point of my life. And I'm cherishing every moment I have with that special one.
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+*In Perfect SiLence*+
+*inteRest*!+
+*LookinG ARounD*!+
+*BoreD?*+
Click on START first, and wait till the background color changes. Once it changes, hit STOP! The addiction starts here..
+*Weren't they just memories?*!+
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*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 11:24 AM*