Tuesday, October 25, 2005



My horoscope once told me today:


All of us worry from time to time, especially when tiny issues suddenly seem to multiply. At the moment, you might be worrying a bit more than you really should, but you won't be willing to let it go until you've spoken to someone about it. Whether the issue is health or work-related doesn't matter. Face it, get it over with, and get it done. It's time for a new start, but you won't be able to pull that off until you're sure.

And definitely I'm faced with this pox with the terrible urges to stratch till it goes away.
But the thought of having my loving parents boiling funny chinese herbs and making sure I stay away from all those food, I won't, or I will try not to. Well, chicken pox aint that bad, just that the itch last night was so bad that made my eyes stay up still 3am. Lack of sleep? tell me about it! Looking at how my meals are prepared now, and how the rest are eating... I swear the thought of fastfood or oily stuff makes me feel pukey in a way. Good training to lose that 2 kg I gained from the chocolate feast I had a month back! And I'm glad I'm losing it! Right dolor? So that I won't feel so gulity when I feed you with the chocolates I buy!


Heard a story from a gurlie today on how a fwen's ex furiously accused her of doing nasty thing that was never been done at that point of time. For a moment, I could just picture myself in this ex shoes, finding every single detail I could find just to push myself to reality, to fix up the broken puzzles from everywhere, and to see what was wrong. I could understand where she was coming from. It's funny when I think about it. In every relationship, both parties play a part, how it ends, it applies the same. Seen too many faces, faces of people that seems so fake. I always told Pickleberryfairy that "Things happen for a reason, and whatever that reason was was a reason for you to see things and people in their true colours and faces"


It's easy for one to say to another, but I'm coping with it myself. Assumptions, verbal comments, mind playing with emotions and unworthy heart breaking moments that they leave in your lives. Once bitten by this bug? I've seen my gurlies one after another, I've seen myself trapped in cycle where you loved till your last breath, what turns out was just just a line to draw between the lines, simply pure accepting for another. Everyone wear masks, maybe that's why when someone enter your life, and it turns with a certain unpredictable ending, sometimes fake, sometimes just a slap in the face to tell you "Is this person woth getting the slap in the face?"it's scary how this never ending cycle tumbles upon every single individual in this world, yet we're all suckers for these events that we can't seem to be the ones that prevent it before hand.

People leave and hurt, people laugh and cry, people stay and hope, people stay and smile. How about those who really gave their all in a relationship, expected nothing, wanted nothing, asked for nothing. Just wishing that their partner would love them for them and accept and understood things the way they are. Does it only happen it disney land or neverland? Where love and life was as free as how Peter pan flew and how innocent Tinkerbel is? I guess the temporary image of this just lingers within our hearts and not in our lives.

Who could ever explain what is love? Did a survey earlier on and they asked about how many people I did truly love in this life... *Counting* just three. One was a first love I was with for 3 and a half years, second was an ex that I was willing to change and spend my life with him, and lastly dearie Dolor. Disorganize thoughts humbly floats by this messed up mind, too much to handle yet what's there to handle. We ponder why things happen, how things could or could have been, blaming ourselves for each mistake we found, and wonder what we could have done, should have done, say or should have said. On a lighter note, each individual says things for a reason and not empty assumptions that are made unless they have lost their mind. What's past is past, like I said before a broken key that's thrown into a well of keys that have been used before. it's hard to find the right reasons, why people didn't cherish what you do for them, how masks they show to people around them to look like a better half. Well, not everyone can see the ryhme that you're singing. If they do, you would see what you wished and hoped for.

I'm just one of the many few.


*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 7:02 PM*


+*In Perfect SiLence*+





Name:The beautiful letdown
MSN: mzimpeRfect@hotmail.com

+*inteRest*!+


Confused Multiple thoughts
Ramblings of a beautiful letdown
It's an irony to live and think as a perfect imperfection
Martini would make this Lala happy
The art of prOcrAstiNating
ipod groover, a lil dreamer and a dragonfly adorer
I bite! Watch out!

+*LookinG ARounD*!+

PICklEbeRRYfaiRY
Xiao Bao
ChLoe
honeY bitcH feL
Boo
LysoN
AdRiAn
Dancing Chick
JeanETTe
J Babe
BettA
KriSten
Clement

+*BoreD?*+

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+*Weren't they just memories?*!+

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