      |
|
OH! No no!!! I'm not pregnant. Had a dream, a damn funny yet sweet dream that seems to leave its traces of feelings, images and fat! Dreamt that I was pregnant, and you can guess who's kid it was. So funny... A night's dream is equal to 9 months of carry a child in me. Parents, relatives, Emma, Jem, even my supervisor was there. Well, the clearest part i remember clearly was that it was a day before i was due. Everyone was at my place having dinner. While Clement was showing those baby scans to the peeps outside. My mum was in my room telling me what to pack in case Clement panics when i need to be rushed to the hospital. While she packed and nagged... I felt the pain in my tummy. The baby was here! Drama right? But it's true, it felt so real.. I remember holding my tummy (maybe I did hold my tummy when i was sleeping), everyone paniced.The next thing I know, I was in the ambulance with my baby. The sweetest part, as much as he didn't know what to do, he just kept repeating "I love you and i'm here with you!" Too much drama mama right?? Tell me about it. Was in the labour ward, doctor gave me a jab and there out came my child. Fast? If only it happened in real life, then women don't need to go through all that pain. But... what the hell.. with medical so advanced, what's pain? I saw the look on everyone's face especially Clement when he smiled at me. =) It was a girl just as he always wanted. I can still remember the baby's face. It was wrapped up, looking like an angel. Remember the doctor said she was a very light baby, because her daddy is very skinny! And the whole room laughed. Can you imagine?!??! A doctor actually saying that! (Baby, you better start eating more!!!) That's the end of my dream. come to think of it, my tummy was quite small when i looked at it. I swear, this dream woke me up, felt the bloatness in my tummy! Too much maggie mee for dinner? And of course... the images of Clement, his parents, my parents, the look of emma and jem taking pix, everyone! The smiles and the way clement told me he loved me in the ambulance. I could still feel it at this very point of time. Wish it never ended.... *My baby loves me and I love him too* Currently listening to:Live twice - Darius. (Thanks to jaCk!)
Think i saw this in the shops! Woohooo..!!! I want!!!! Anyone wanna sponser me!  
I love this Mp3 player... I would buy it immediately if i had the money! But.. it's so ex i think! 
.Maggie mee.Shouldn't be thinking too much.The power of love.The couch potato for the evening.Saved by prayers. Art books for the week.Listening to church hymns make the heart feel loved and comfort.I thank my baby for loving me each day.The greatest love of all is to be loved and to be loved in return.My emo is getting bad. Feel like I'm a laselle student, geting all arty farty.Peace, comfort and strength is what I wished.i love you clement, more than you ever know.Confidence needs to be bulit in me.Currently listening to: "My all in all".Miss talking to Emma.Think church is where I should have been today. MY ALL IN ALL You are my strength when I am weak. You are the treasure that I seek. You are my all in all. Seeking you like a precious jewel, Lord to give up I'll be a fool, you are my all in all. Jesus, Lamb of god, Worthy is your name. Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is your name. Taking my sin, my cross, my shame. Rising again, I bless your name. You are my all in all. When I fall down, you pick me up. When I am dry, you fill my cup. You are my all in all.
*The Many Faces of Boredom* 
.Sunday morning.The Emo girl on her whirl rides.I think I need a vodka.Blogging.Pix to smile about.Absolute john mayer.Jack's sending me great songs on Msn.Should I meet Emma later?.Think I'm gonna get a mp3 player as a birthday present to myself (I deserve to pamper myslef).Found a degree that's something like what i wanted.Blocknose.Home alone.Trying to concentrate."Are we drifting?".The sleep mode.Split screen sadness.Wish a call from you.Waiting for time to pass by.Eric Carle's art work's awesome.Creative art for my kids in the next week. Messy hair. Need sleep. Need you.
Headed down to LB office today for a personality analysis thingy. Was caught in the jam which was super bad! Lucky I was just in time when it started. Well, it started off pretty wierd, especially with clement not around and Chee had to entertain his cousins. I swear I was falling asleep when the talk started. But... with the determination of trying to keep my eyes open.. I survived! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Got my personality analyse. It's a IML DISC test, if you guys even know about it! U should check it out cause it's pretty accurate! Or rather... it's very accurate, you can trust me on that. I'm a I.S, more to the I which means Influencing:Inspiring. There are 4 different styles. D- Dominant:Driver, I-As mentioned above, S-Stable:Steady, C-Compliant:Correct. Well, in the I section... found some interesting characteristics that simply just brought me to realise "Boy! I'm such a drama queen"! Read on and find out more.. *Influencing.Inspiring*- General charateristics: Enthusiastic, trusting, optimistic, persuasive, talkative, implusive, emotional, people oriented, friendly, warm, more concern and sensitive to people's feelings. Value to team: Creative problem solver, great encourager, motivates others to achieve, positive sense of humour, peacemaker. Possible weakness: Inattentive to detail, dress to achieve, overuse gestures, tend to listen when only convenient, poor time management, talk to much! *Laughs*, act implusive, not knowing the proper empahsis. Needs: Social recognition, favourable working condition, needs motivating envt, confidence in product, freedom of speech and I need a C to organise my thoughts and actions (And thank god i got Clement as a C). And... Haha.. The C section needs people like me in the I section to add more confidence in their actions and planning! More of less... that's about it. Met some of the LB people there, though I'm really bad at names.. But, glad to say these are a friendly and happy bunch of people that simply makes you comfortable at a unfamilar place. I had fun.. learnt more about myself, about Clement, about others and how to handle others with different personalities and what approach to talk to them. *The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world. I am like a snowball, the further I am rolled the more i gained* Was suppose to meet Emma for dinner, but change of plans. Met her for 3 mins at pasir ris mrt, you can guess where she came from! *Winks* Had a good evening spending time with my adorable nephew who's simply so cheeky and naughty! Yup, spending quality time with my family since my sister was home too. Watched the Arsenal match, stupid linesman with a stupid eye sight! If you know what i mean. Well, only got to talk to Clement for half an hour. It was talk and silence conversation. He was more interested in his game and telling me he was tired. What can i say? It was 3am in Aust. And that's how our conversation ended... I can't expect so much from him when he doesn't seem to have anything to talk about even though we had little conversations these days. He's going cycling later, and there another day goes by.... am i going to get another silence conversation? "I feel the drift between you and me. And it's hurting me in a way. Do you even miss me now when we're apart? I can't ask anything more cause I'm happy just being with you. But i need to know, if you're still there.... cause the silence is breaking me slowly.." you'll be coming home soon you know your out of place you knock on my doorstep i just need to see your face oh my heart is like a speeded train oh my love and i can feel your pain oh my love yeah i pray for you because i miss you i'm out of place i'm out of place (background) i'm out of place i'm out of place i'm out of place i'm out of place you'll be coming round soon its just my fantasy is there something i can do for you have you got a soul to save oh my heart is like a speeded train oh my love and i can feel your pain oh my love yeah i pray for you because i miss you i'm out of place i'm out of place oh my heart is like a speeded train oh my love and i can feel your pain oh my love yeah i pray for you because i miss you i'm out of place i'm out of place (background) i'm out of place i'm out of place i'm out of place i'm out of place oh becasue i miss you i'm out of place oh because i miss you i'm out of place i'm out of place you'll be coming home soon Currently listening to: *Oliver james- out of place*
The only pix i have of us at the airport! *Classy bitch and baby bitch* 
And that's her dudes.... 
Emo trips, shopping at Zara, Hunger strikes and simply two silly girls 
Woohoo.. Friday! Finally got some plans done! Met Felicia in town. *Implusive shopping*My shirt smells of kids*Hungry!*Guess, Zara*Waiting for Stefan who's taking so damn long!* Yesh, get the drift? Zara shopping was great! With two silly girls putting every single top they think they would fit one another, you can imagine how many we brought in to try. But! No no!! we can't always indulge in implusive shopping! I swear.. the temptation of buying buying buying! And i could just spend 50 over bucks for a few tops at Zara! But!!!! Okok.. I only bought one! *Sorry baby... my top was really smelly with mucus and kids' sweat?* Saw a pretty wallet at Guess! Another temptation for Fel and me! Well, sad to say Zara was a better temptation. Walked down to Herran and Cini feeling so so hungrY!.... FINALLY! Stefan koh the main man for the night arrives with a silly smile! sushi for dinner with lots of lame corny horny jokes! Kids.. dun corrupt your mind! Yesh, jokes thanks to Mr. koh! Well, it was a great dinner outing! Yoshinoya? *Grinz* Only the intellectual will understand. Went 24hr Coffee club to chill out a bit, great atmosphere, windy, taking pix and the smoke in Fel's face! Haha! It was funny! The only thing I thought to myself when i was there: "I don't wanna meet the person I don't know, only that sometimes people tend to hang out there" Well, left about 11pm. *Tired, moody, missing my baby, great pix in fel's cam and simply had a great time* Well, pictures will be up soon.. The amount of pix we took can fill up pages and pages... Exclusively stars only: *Queen bitch:Egeria* *Baby bitch:Me* *Classy bitch:Becky* *Saddist bitch:Felicia*
The weekend's coming up. And I aint really looking forward to it. I'm starting to feel the blues and the lonliness. Had a busy day at school. Kids weren't listening, was rushing in and out of class. And all I had during the running up and down was a bad headache. It wasn't a normal one but a really bad pain that goes in and out. U can imagine what's like walking under the hot sun, taking the train and the jerky bus. I felt worst with the addition feeling of vomitting. Emma was suppose to come over my place cause she was feeling down, so am I. As much as I was trying to tahan not taking the panadol and assuming that sleep would make everything better? I was wrong! Here I am writing with the killer pain. I haven't been talking to Clement though he called this morning. He said he'll be back late cause he's going to play game.. And that's about it. All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night hearing voices telling meThat I should get some sleepBecause tomorrow might be good for something Hold onFeeling like I’m headed for a breakdown And I don’t know why But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell I know right now you can’t tell But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see A different side of me I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired I know right now you don’t care But soon enough you’re gonna think of me And how I used to be...me I’m talking to myself in public Dodging glances on the train And I know, I know they’ve all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinking Somehow I’ve lost my mind But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwellI know right now you can’t tell But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see A different side of me I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired I know right now you don’t care But soon enough you’re gonna think of me And how I used to be I’ve been talking in my sleep Pretty soon they’ll come to get me Yeah, they’re taking me away. -Unwell (Matchbox Twenty) -
Heard the song by Richard Marx "Until I find you again" introduced to me by my baby... A sudden feeling of loneliness filled my heart. Saw his pullover when I opened my cupboard. HMmmm.. the smell of clean laundry and of course the smell of his top! I miss him.. Haven't heard from him the whole day. And douch worry.. I'm not angry that he aint called or he forgot about me, rather.. I'm more worried. Well, guess he would be enjoying himself at his tour in Aust. =) Proud to say, I'm more independent now! Not getting angry over reporting phone calls or forgetting to call me situation! I know he'll call.. =) Yup! Leaving for airport soon! Yesh, I'm finally leaving for Aust! GRinz! bull shit! Gotta send the queen bitch off! Oppsy! late!!! gtg... will scribble tonight... baby bitch's gonna miss her queen bitch!
"I'm the luckiest girl in the whole wide world!" That's what I'm feeling at this very moment. Probably the love that everyone's showing me, especially when Clement is not around. Yes baby! Everyone is helping you take care of your princess! Well, I guess you can't experience what I'm feeling right now. I have a great family who's loving me!, a wonderful bf whom I'll be marrying in 4 years (YEap! My fiancé. Awwww...), my bestie buddies esp emma and egeria whom been such darlings! And of course.. that includes sylvia, cern, shing, nic (always letting me jump quene @cartel!), xiao bao and of course.. lurve hanging out with felicia though i met her just 2 months back! But... she's going back Aust! *Sob*. I love my kids at school! The number in my school is growing.. i'm getting new kids from my old centre! And so.. work's more busy, i have more things that I'll need to learn and absorb. I'm learning alot as a professional teacher. i swear.. It takes a lot to be professional and be a teacher. There is a big difference. Thanks to Dani, she's teaching and guiding me in many things that i never saw in the old centre. Change is good. Yes, I used to think that change requires many upset and uncertainty in life. I used to think i wasn't capable to do this and that, to see the different sides of being a childcare eduactor. The different side of the Singaporean parents these days, trust me! It's different! And.. it makes me think about what Clement and I would be like or how we gonna handle out kids next time. Come to think of it, i think Kieran and Sarah can never hide away from their mind reader daddy. And how my baby would talk to them logically instead of the usual beating and scolding like how we all went through. It's good having a daddy like that, it allows the kids to open up in their thinking, doing things logically and making their conclusions in a more adult oriented manner. Am I boring you? Well, all of us gotta face it one day. And as an early childhood educator, it takes alot being a mother of a child and being a teacher of a child. Different methods of teaching methods is used differently! Well.. kieran and sarah.. you got a great daddy, why worry! *Grinz* (I'm making your head swell right dear?) Ok, enough of al the kids and mushy stuff! i'm dead tired but i gotta pull up my socks right! Work work work. Sending egeria off tomorroe! I hate to see her go! i hate to see anyone walk through that door.. except for me! ehheehe!!! Well, Avril's gotta save! When i spend, Clement saves for me. When he spends, i save! silly boy buy monash tee to add to his collection! *Smilez* Well, for those who know the surprise good for you! Ok.. Have to cut my rainbow fish scales. Did i tell you rainbow fish is a very silly story! And.. i love the works of Eric Carle! Still adding his books to my collection! And I've been looking around at charm bracelets, the one with a heart. Well, if you didn't know, I'm looking for a charm bracelet with a heart and that I can engraved 'Raeanne" on it. You might be thinking: "Can find anywhere what!" Yes! you can.. but the cheapest I saw was 50 bucks plus with a lousy silver while the really nice ones are like 70-90 bucks! Plus.. some are really heavy! I really do like the ones from Perlini and Moshi moshi. Ex! Ex! ex! My baby wouldn't want me to spend such money i know! It's really something I like.. But! Avril shall be a good girl and look around more, can't always turn to implusive buying or I'll never get to go for my farm stay! *Missing my baby* *Listening to "only hope" by Mandy moore. Someone could play this for my funeral with many white roses* *I wished i was in Aust now snuggling up!* *I'm gonna miss my bitchy egeria!* *Charm bracelet!* *Teacher Avril needs to get her work done!* *I'm the luckiest girl in the world cause my baby loves me and i love him too*
Bitch, bitching, bitches ... *Topic for Monday* 
Monday blues.. tired and I'm missing my baby! Got a call from my mum this afternoon. She got so worried cause Melbourne airport was closed due to some toxic gas leak.. or well something like that! Never seen my mum panic over someone i love! Which means.. *Baby welcome to the family* (Though u already are wlecome without invitation). This is what i dream for in the past.... Being with someone I can bring home to my parents. Someone that my parents are open about, that that someone feel comfortable and friendly, sincere and simply just himself. I found him.. =) Well, called clement cause I myself panicked when i heard the news! Called his hp despite the many reminds of not calling him to save money before he left! But what can i do.. natural reaction when something like that goes wrong! But.. guess where he was? At the beach! Looking at nude babes and simply enjoying his lifE! *Why didn't he pack me in his bag!* Winkz! Met Xiao Bao today! *Xiao bao luffs me!!!* - My current favourite line to her! Well, went for a movie "I do, I do" It was a typical Singaporean show! And.. you do need a basic hokkien language skill to understand some of the jokes in the show! If not, don't bother! i give 3 popcorns! ehehehhe! Lots of bitchin over dinner! As usual! Over people we felt was simply .. oh! For us to know la! That's what bitching is all about. We decided that some other convents girls doesn't have mentality like KC peeps which is why .. we decided to "Don't give a ****! Shhh.. I'm not suppose to use bad wordS!!! It was great! Had the nonsensical phototaking cutting off heads session at CArtel! Well, might be meeting her at some wicked music @ zouk this weekend! We'll see how it goes.. and what's new!!! XIAO BAO IS GOING TO GET DRUNK! And I'll be her maid? ehehehhe! kidding! Meeting felicia on wed to send our bitch off! I'm gonna miss my bestie!!! that's all folks.. for the monday blues.. or rather.. it was a monday alright!
*You make me wanna Lala* 
Just got back from the airport, sending off my sweetie pie. He spent the whole day at my place. Doin up my blog and snuggling in my bed. i love the feeling of just him hugging me to sleep and his itchy fingers pinching my arms. It felt aWwwww.. I loved every moment of it. Went airport, checked in, had ice cream and ... last kisses before he left. Remembering the last time i sent him off last year... 14th July 2004- Took a urgent leave, had breakfast with him with Great World where else but Macs. At that time, we were close, closer than fwenz. I liked him.... and trust me knowing that he was going away wasn't a very good feeling. People once told me "Clement will find a girl there and bring her back". Guess that comment was one thing that kept me denying my feelings for him. Well, that day was sweet. Met his mum, his sister and helping him pack! It was a great feeling though i wasn't his gf yet! It was special. Spent the next day just walking down the streets of Orchard. It was great spending the last few days with him. Up to that day I never knew how he felt about me! i swear.. i didn't. Then the day came where I said good bye. Wrote a letter and left a pressie. And for those who presume I cried.. i didn't! i just teared! Who wouldn't? Seeing the guy she likes going somewhere far! Would you? Well, received a msg from him saying he wore the present! =) My heart fell. Each day he called.. Everynight we spoke, we laughed, we shared about our day's activities. And then one fine day...*pop* no no.. no babies! Just a night on 6/7th August 2004 at 10.30pm in singapore and 12.30 in Melbourne, we just decided to be a couple! Sweet love story? Yea, that's our story which i was trying to recall since i kissed him goodbye just now. *Yawn* One week two days, yes! Clement's princess can survive! Have some plans up for the week anyway. Meeting xiao bao for a movie tommooroe! *i miss her!!!* Lots of bitching for her to bitch with me! Will be going down LB office for some interesting event. Might be meeting up with old collegues and simply hanging out with people I haven't met in ages. Jem and Emma just dropped by my place... Well, that girl pierced her belly! And sorry for being too lazy to walk to downtown to makan! YAwn! i'm heading back to my work No baby Di-Gi for me to indulge in my self amusement pix cause clement took the camera with him. *Sob* *My baby loves me and I love him too!*
Am i the lamp post?!!?!? 
*My favourite clown and little LALA!* .jpg)
Felicia the drama queen and little princess LALA .jpg)
*My baby BOO* 
Was listening to this song... Melted as I heard her sing, it wasn't about her acting cute, but the lyrics of the song. Download it if u can people, it's an old tune, but good choicE! Mandy moore- 'Only hope' There's a song that inside of my soul. It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again. I'm awake in the infinite cold, but you sing to me over and over and over again. So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours I pray to be only yours. I know now you're my only hope. Sing to me the song of the stars. Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again. When it feels like my dreams are so far, sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again. So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours I pray to be only yours. I know now you're my only hope. I give you my destiny. I'm giving you all of me. I want your symphony. Singing in all that I am. At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back. So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours I pray to be only yours. I know now you're my only hope. Hmmm Hmmmmm, Oooooooooooooh. Got back from town! It's FRIDAY! Hell yea! Haven't had such a great chillout with a filling dinner and few games of pool. Well, the day couldn't be better without great people to hang out with! Yesh, my baby who loves me, Felicia the drama girl, Randy who doesn't care about me!, Lyson, the clown i luff yet he keeps denying that he doesn't care about me! *Grinz* and of course not forgetting clement lee as how felicia calls him "Ah lee": the guy who simply can't take pix for nutz! i thought i was baD! He's worst! ehehhee! Met for some xiao long bao at paragon.. or rather lots of bao! dinner was alright but somehow couldn't beat the taste of crystal jade! douch worry, the pictures we took would be up soon. Headed to lucky plaza for some games of pool at Mambo. And yesh, more silly picz proudly taken by Fel, clement lee and me! what to do.... the camera was more tempting to kill our utter crazy moods! Well, things are getting better with clement and me.got a real sweet msg today form him. Well, it's for me to know and for you to find out la!He's leaving this sunday!!! (Can you pack me along with u baby?) I'm gonna miss him!!!!! *Sobz* For the time being, i still can't find a nice charm bracelet. i miss emma! i wanna be packed in clement's bag! And... i love the pix we took today!
MeT Egeria today, went on a so called shopping spree! Or rather we walked for 4 hours. I miss my best fwen! She's one hell of a bitch i swear! Well, Princess lala and the bitchy bitch walked in sales and more sales. From Wisma, to Herran, back to Taka and back to plaza sing! Madness!! Yesh, I needed to walk my fats out while i tortured my fwen by walking! Took pix ... funny ones, crazy onez which i dun think i'll ever get it! Went cartel for dinner. Met her new so called lover "Clarence" and he ex lover "richard" and fwen! Well, yesh.. the usual pix! And thanks god i met jourdan ( not my new bf! he's my future brother in law!) got a lift back! which is good! =) A note to end... I'm pulling my socks to be a better teacher and i need to be a better gf. Well, things with Clement haven't been too good. All the little arguments have turned bad ... and i guess i haven't been too fair either! *Wake up Avril! Stop being that spolit brat!* (i'm sorry baby, for the times i made things bad and made u feel upset. U've been understanding and you know how i feel towards you. Thanks for all the time u told me you love me for who i am, cause it means alot to me, love you my boo! *MuaCkz* *My baby loves me and i love him too!*
I was just told in the face that my blog is ugly. What great support i have after a long day of tryin to figure out HTML. What a loser I am right.. Everything about me is imperfect. What's new. I'm never good for anything.
Me and the love of my life! 
*Our valentine's lunch* 
What am I trying to prove with my photoshop skills! 
Obsessed Blogger with her baby's comfory Army tee waiting for 3 boys to finish their mahjong game! 
* Clement's little princess! * 
*Happy New Year!* 
*My baby boo* Simply love this pic he took when he was in aust! 
OopsY daisY! the long awaited blog entrY that i've been contempting to write for a week. Yes, the princess have been busy with work, her sweetie boo, my bestie, and new year? A brief update so that I won't bore you out! *New year* Have a ok new year lar, not much of a celebration since Mama passed away less than a year ago. Clement and his sister came over on new year's. And pretty much the same of eating eating eating. What's new in a peranankan family! Well, something interesting and memorable for me was heading down to clement's place to have dinner. StressfuL? I swear it was when i entered the house. But after much conversations and laughter and simply the homely feeling, it made me feel more comfortable! Avril's gotta brush up her cantonese! (Which is such an interesting language! Though i think i would speak with a slanG! Happening!) I SPOILT MY OWN SURPRISE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY! Geeze, what a bimbo right! present hidden in my drawer and i found it without realising it's been there for days. He bought me the thingy that u hang on the hp! What's that called? Well, it has our picture engraved on the heart shaped thingy! It's really sweet! *thanz baby, the surprise was already a big surprise* 11th Feb: Went shopping with my cousin Ben and his fwen! Oopssy! Forgot his name! Walking in and out that only sell exepensive cool diamonds! Yesh, rich kids! And where was princess avril! *Endlessly craking her brain on what to put in her pressie for her baby* Finally inspiration came! Met emma for aSh wed mass though the temptation from alvin to go Wala Wala was simply AWwww.. which means i don;t go for mass! *bad girl* No no.. i went in the end! Accompanied emma to airport to send like 7 or 8 people in a row! And we managed to drag Alvin down! He's nicknamed "Ah jie" to me now! The dude within the babes that night! *I miss my baby badly that night!* 12th Feb: Went visiting to becky's place. Coudln't make it to egeria's place though! *sorrie babe* Went for cheng's house for dinneR! Will post up th pix we took at beck's place! soon... 13th Feb: Suppose to head down to the library! But things came up! Yesh, something wrong with present and the bad news! Couldn't give clement in time on monday! Was very disappointed! His first valentine and no pressie! Went his place to chill since his parents were out of town. Met Randy and Lyson for a so called "4.15 show!!" Where's the show! Don't ask! What do clowns do? Make you laugh for the silly things they do! that's what these 2 boys did to us! Ate at cartel, spoke to niC and saw Ju too. Well, my dear fwen Ju has offered her services to play her ten piano tunes on my birthday! *Grinz* in the next 10 years??? ahahaha! Well, headed back to cheng's place. 3 silly boys playing mahjong while princess lala was scribbling on her fwenster! 14th Feb: Tired! Very tireD! Cheng came over my place. (with a white rose!) Finally!.. for once we spent money on a low budget. Cooked spg! and mushroom soup with dominic with us! Geezee.. like what my sister said, i had a talkative lamp post! Well, could imagine him teaching my son while i cooked dinner in the future. Sudden imagination when i saw him teaching dominic maths! 15th Feb: Met Cheng for lunch. *Valentine's day lunch* He brought me to this restaurant which is quiet yet nice! (romantic atmosphere but they play wrong songs). But what the heck, it was a great meal, and i see more visits there to come cause the soup and the bread was awesome! *yummy* Gave his present! A book on our lives together since young. The outcome of the book wasn't very much as i expected! But.. i really hoped he liked it! I learnt something new... that valentine's day isn't about expensive presents and roses but it's about spending quality time together that means more than anything else. Well, that's about it! gonna add some pictures. Meeting egeria tommoore for some teA! Clement's leaving this sunday so i guess i would be spending some time with him and of course spend time with my bestie emma! Been real busy at work, work's piling up. I ain't paid alot for nothing! Need to focus and pull my socks! *A BIG HINT!* Just in case you did't know.. 15th March is an important date to buy a present! *HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LITTLE PRINCESS LALA* Here's a list so that you don't have to crake your brain! Geeze.. I'm such a thickskin b*TCH* 1. A charm heart bracelet from Moshi moshi with an engraving of "Raeanne" on the heart! 2. I do want the Canon Axis DiGI! *but...* 3. I need an Mp3 player! Saw a creative brand model.. slim and sleaky black! 4. I want a surprise party!!! *I promise I'll act surprised!* Come on Alvin.. you promisEd! *Grinz* 5. A range of vodka bottles the miniture onez.. That's all for now! *Need sleep* *Missing my baby's kisses and hugs* *I miss emma!* *Obessed blogger that proud of her creationon her blog!* - La La - You can dress me up diamonds. You can dress me up in dirt. You can throw me like a line-man. I like it better when it hurts. Oh, I have waited here for you. I have waited. You make me wanna la la, in the kitchen on the floor I'll be a french maid when I meet you at the door I'm like an alley cat. Drink the milk up, I want more You make me wanna. You make me wanna scream. You can meet me on an aero-plane or in the back of the bus You can throw me like a boomerang. I'll come back and beat you up. Oh, I have waited here for you. Dont, keep me waiting You make me wanna la la in the kitchen on the floor I'll be a french maid when I meet you at the door I'm like an alley cat. Drink the milk up, I want more You make me wanna. You make me wanna la la, in the kitchen on the floor I'll be a french maid when I meet you at the door I'm like an alley cat. Drink the milk up, I want more You make me wanna. You make me wanna scream I feel safe with you. I can be myself tonight It's alright, with you. Cuz you hold, my secrets tight You do, You do You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la You make me wana la la, la la la la
LOOK!!! Meet the Grumpy little oneZ! 
Happy Chinese new year to all! Or rather it's called happy lunar new year! gong xi fa cai! Yes, it's new year and I'm suppose to head out to visit my grandma. But ... HA! my sister still sleeping, so well there's time for me to scribble here and there. Had a good time in school yesterday celebrating with the kids, got ang pow from Dani and well.. came home cleared my room. Did a board filled with pictures on it, YES! to remind myself everyday I'm not alone in this world. My sister is finally home! Silly gal came home and give each of us hugs! including my daD! it's a rare sight isn't it! Things with Clement has been great! As what he said in his blog, those who had doubts about how long we would last. Come on! take another bet! *Grinz* don't everyone always do that when they bitch about others?!?! Well peeps, this relationship has its ups and downs, who's doesn't? One thing bad is that clement hardly gets angry with me (Which is why i have to change my little girl's temper!) and after the arguments and silly fights.. We smile and laugh it off it, thinking how silly we could be! Or rather I could be! So well, Lunar NEw year's resoultion: 1. Save money! 2. Save at least $3000- 5000 per year! Think that's alot? Yea, when you're planning for the future with your future hubby, must plan early! 3. Save money and hopefully have a get away with Clement to Australia! Farm stay Farm stay! ehehhehehe! i need to visit my relatives. Well, for those wondering why I wanna go for a farm stay. Princess Avril wants to feed the little lamb milk with the bottle! so exciting! And also.. the koalas! YEs...SAVE MONEY! My worst fears, my hated word (Money!). i need to get over this impulsive shopping attitude and thinkin about the future! I NEED TO! 4. i forgot... i need to spend more time with my family and besties! 5. and lastly, concentrate and give my best @ work! no more slacking! Happy new year all!
*Happy 6 months to US!* Great sunday with bad cramps. Ended up staying home with clement instead of going for church! *My baby loves me* He spent the whole day taking care of a little girl with bad mood swings and bad cramps.. He bought dinner for me. He helped my mum photocopy stuff (Suck up right?!?! ahahha kidding! he's being a good son in law) He put me to sleep. And he showed me how much he loves me! =) I'm blessed with the greatest guy. Happy anniversary sweetie. love you!
Am i just someone you talk to when you have nothing on? *Sniffles* "Lord i offer my life to you, everything i've been thru, use for your glory. Lord i offer my days to you, lifting my praise to you, as a pleasing sacrifice. Lord i offer you my life" I aint god, I can't be perfect.
A Mind reader Wanna be! NAH! just the busy nights of teAcher Avril! 
It's been a while since i last scribbled! The early morning of a sat! finally got my access to my internet! Gosh, freaking compuer hasn't been that good to me ever since i bought him home! Mood's been better, though the constant mood swings, left right centre ulcers in my mouth, the ups and downs with my baby, the need for some maja-ing from my boy (that's bad!). YES! AVRIL HAVEN'T BEEN A NICE GIRL. FOR THOSE I HURT OR BEEN MEAN, I;M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT. A note to my boy: **For the times you've been patient and understanding, i thank god for that. For the times we spent together these few months, i wished it would never end. For the times, you wasn't a nice boy, i still love you for that! And for the times i thank god u were by my side, i never regreted this. i love you baby! *kissEz* ** Spent the night chilling out with clement at my place. Feels great spending quality time together without money! Watching tv and buying dinners back! If you didn't know, he got his "visa" to chill out at my place! ehehhe! get it? The ulcers killing me! talk about heatyness! Yes, my body's full of it! been busy at work that i have no time for even a drink! I'm coming up with a sore throat! Arrrrgghh!!! I need: to buy my chinese new year blouse plan my work so that i have enough time to rest meet kaisi for my planning love my baby more! forgive and forget people who took your kindness for for granted. and be a nicer girl! and stop throwing tantrams! scribbling and still scribbling... *i Miss tau huey*
Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you Do you ever wanna run away? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screaming Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more Before your life is overAre you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around?With the big fake smiles and stupid lies But deep inside you're bleeding To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down When no one's there to save you *welcome to my life*
Just when i thought my money problems have been more settled: Here comes a phone call telling me that Mr. Johan Lim has been a jerk not paying off his bills. A**? tell me about it. Nation wide look out for the A** that owes me a sum! I self declare myself as a jinX. It's true.. one problem after another. What's next! Tell me god.. why these games? retribution for the awful things i did, hurt or say? And now the problem goes back to square one which i HATE! the word 'MONEY' Been having a spinning headache since that phone call. Clueless how the hell i'm gonna settle the shit. I'm lost, I admit defeat. I admit I'm a loser at the word money.. i'm a loser at trusting people so much. The consequences of trusting.. what do i get back.. a whole load of shit, bills and what's next. I'm beginning to find disappointment in myself, my life and my opnions of people/things. I trusted a friend whom i thought was in need. What i got back was smack right in my face. I deserve it? Isn't that what's on your mind? Trust me i know. i wish clement was actually right awake now to be with me right at this very point of time. But he's not.. Eh, another disappointment isn't it. The only help i got was from egeria sending a whole wide nation search for A**hole LIm and this blog to get me through my frustrations and sadness since NO ONE is here for me. Isn't it funny? When people need you, you try to be there. but when one needs the person most... where are they? Maybe what people said was true, blogs make me write and scribble frustrations, lonliness and sadness. I am finding release in this.. what's new.. Avril's writing about her F*Cked up life. What's new for her? Stressed up with work, trying to be nice at home, trying to work things out with money where problems keep arising up without limit. I am a letdown, why am i still here. hurt and giving problems to every single one around. It's not easy being me. If i was meant to play a game of how strong i am, i admit i'm not as what u seem i am lord. I'm hurting inside and crying hiding away from this world that i live in. Been crying at night cause i keep think of mama, thinking of how pressured i am at work and thinking how am i going to settle it the right way like how a 22 would settle it. I wish i had comfort and strength from u lord. i need you to keep me strong. "Crying is a souce of strength" i am now.. tears of pain, confusion, disappointment and just need a hug and a shoulder for support. Where are you? "Come back to me, with all your heart, don't let fear keep us apart. Trees do bend, grow striaght and tall, so must we to others' call. Lord have i waited for your coming home to me and living deeply our new life. " Dear lord, i'm trying my best at work, trying to live up to expectations of myself. For now, I'm tired. Give me rest of peace and comfort, a garden of white roses and a rainbow. that would make a tiny smile on my face.. love, your child...
|
+*In Perfect SiLence*+
+*inteRest*!+
+*LookinG ARounD*!+
+*BoreD?*+
Click on START first, and wait till the background color changes. Once it changes, hit STOP! The addiction starts here..
+*Weren't they just memories?*!+
|
*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 5:01 PM*