Compatibilty Test:

While Virgo is very uncomfortable with ambiguity and is always categorising and organising life into clearly defined compartments, Pisces is quite content to absorb lots of seemingly contradictory ideas without having an urgent need to reconcile them. Virgo likes to carve out an area of life and specialise in it, developing skill and expertise in this well-defined domain, whereas Pisces tends to drift among a wider variety of interests. Virgo likes a neat, tidy, orderly environment, whereas Pisces's natural habitat is cluttered, sloppy, even chaotic to an outside observer. Pisces is more poetic while Virgo is more comfortable in the world of facts. Your differences do not necessarily conflict with each other and there is a good possibility that you will appreciate and understand each other sufficiently to harmonise well. Neither of you are extremely ambitious or egocentric; both are gentle, even shy people, and your sensitivity is a plus in this relationship.
You are opposites in many ways, yet your differences can be complementary and you can certainly learn a lot from one another.
Virgo is factual, organised and efficient in dealing with material affairs, with an eye for details. Pisces is more imaginative and dreamy, and can be disorganised or foggy when it comes to practical matters.
With Virgo, intellect often rules emotions, but with Pisces feelings dominate. Pisces is sentimental and compassionate and may give unwisely or indiscriminately to people in need, with no sense of what is actually appropriate: Virgo also has a helpful, nurturing side but is more dispassionate, and definitely knows when to stop.
Also, Virgo is highly perfectionistic and critical and often has impossibly strict or high standards for self or others to live up to. Pisces is the opposite: tolerant, accepting, non-judgmental, loose, often undisciplined. Virgo is drawn to this quality of unconditional, uncritical acceptance in Pisces, and Pisces can benefit from Virgo's sense of order, clarity and simplicity.
Both of you are timid and even somewhat passive at times, with much sensitivity. Both are suited to work in the helping professions or along artistic lines (with Virgo emphasising technical ability and craftsmanship, Pisces emphasising inspiration and imagination).
Virgo's emotional responses to Pisces are very intense. If Pisces is physically attractive to Virgo, then the attractive power of Pisces over Virgo is extremely powerful. However, the attraction tends to have a love/hate quality to it, and you feel drawn to each other, but also wary and distrustful of each other. It is likely that you feel both drawn to each other and repulsed by each other at the same time! The emotional response to each other is intense and complex, and the ultimate outcome of this deep, complex emotional tie is difficult to predict, but one thing is certain: this is not a lukewarm relationship and you "get under each other's skin", evoking intense feelings from each other. Virgo can easily become obsessed with Pisces!
Your relationship has an upbeat, friendly positive quality that makes it fun to be with each other. You help each other laugh and take life less seriously. It is not unusual for the two of you to have a great deal of fun playing games or even while engaging in daily activities such as shopping, etc. You allow each other considerable freedom; you respect each other's independence, and are more interested in enjoying a good time together rather than dominating or smothering each other.
A serious erosion of security, confidence and self-esteem can occur in and through your relationship with one another, because you will be unable to escape confronting the shadowy or illusory aspects of yourselves, those places in your lives where you might wish to pretend or deceive yourselves. An overall feeling of pessimism may descend on you both from time to time, as you confront your own inadequacies and weaknesses. Part of what this relationship is about is learning to separate what is real from what is not, and stripping away false images and illusions. At best, a deep and serious attitude towards spirituality, and the desire to make your ideals a concrete, here-and-now experience will result. Do try to avoid a heavy, martyred, self-chastising attitude, though. A demand for perfection - either of yourself, your partner, or the relationship - will work against you.
Although you have opposite personalities in some ways, you complement each other well and both of you enjoy having a partners that takes care of many of the things that you prefer to avoid. Bonding is very strong and you are likely to be good friends throughout your lives.
The two of you are likely to collaborate on community affairs, political activities, or intellectual endeavours. Pisces encourages Virgo to participate in social groups and contribute to society in greater measure. It is likely that the two of you will collaborate on committees or in some kind of business. Whether your endeavours are successful depends largely on whether you can work together harmoniously; if you arouse anger in each other, you will end up being adversaries or competitors instead of partners in a team.
Pisces holds an unusually strong fascination for, and influence over, Virgo. You are drawn together by an almost irresistible attraction, and it may be difficult for either of you to extricate yourselves from this relationship because the bond between you is so compelling. Very little can be hidden from one another. Your subconscious motives, feelings, and desires are brought to light in this relationship, which is likely to profoundly change your attitudes towards yourselves. You are likely to feel either very much more powerful, or heavily dominated by, your partner. This is an intense and revealing relationship!
Sexual compatibility is strong, but could at times be a little more adventurous.

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 9:40 AM*

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 9:11 AM*

Friday, October 21, 2005

Dolor thinks I have this huge crush on Isaac. *I smell a little jealousy here!*
Check this out:

Me: Isaac, who's Teacher Avril's clever boy?

Isaac: Me! Isaac

Me: Then who's Teacher's Avril's darling?

Isaac *points to himself* Me! Isaac

Me: then who is Isaac's darling?

Isaac: You! *Points to my toe, cause I was standing next to him while he sits on the floor*

Me: You who?

Isaac: You, Teacher Avril

This is not a rehersed scene that is forced or dubbed.
Just pure love and adoration!
P/s: Isaac and Zach are brothers! too bad, they left for Taiwan without me. DarN!
Been too busy to blog and simply coming home like 11pm everynight from tuition
just makes me long for my bed and nothing else!
Another long day tomorrow, but it'll end up good!
Cause I've got a date with Dolor.
I'm serious, a date!
Wonder what's the plans?
*Ponders over water*
Good night!

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 12:00 AM*

Monday, October 17, 2005

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 11:48 PM*

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 11:23 PM*

Sunday, October 16, 2005

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 11:38 AM*

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 8:36 AM*

Saturday, October 15, 2005

I think I overkilled my brain cells with the amount of DVDz I caught within just this week.
Counting and still counting, I caught more than 10 shows and the number is still increasing.
Thanks to Dolor's daddy, we saved money, saved from the crowd, saved from discomfort in those cinema chairs and of course just away from civilisation. Just got home away from home, had "A missed call" DVDs maraton", Chinese shows, MTV, Endless animal planets, Baseballs games on cable that is awesome!, 3am Mac's delivery, a whole lot of K.O snuggled sleep, dehyrated from water (stubborn me!), nice chicken rice, afternoon nap, car wash which I simply lurve and home sweet home!
Releasing myself from the work pressure that I've been suffering from, I find myself often stoning, glazing and simply dreamy. My entire sleep cycle is out of control and the flu bug is back by popular demand with the precaution checks everyday that I might have gotten the chicken poxz. OH! Can't wait! Don't get me wrong, just that if I do get it now, I won't suffer from the old aged symptoms of the poxz plus I save $140 for the vacination that I have to go if my body resistence is so damn good (which I guess it's not especially with the flu virus that I'm getting once a while). The weekend's here once again, and here I am typing away on what's on my mind.
Just got back and heading out again, to the library and to bank in money! Yes, the control urge of shopping is decreasing, except when I see the ESprite signboards that triggers that mind of mine "OH! go in Avril... come on... Won't do any harm! (even if you just have buy a top or stare at that white skirt that u've been eyeing on)". Yes, the terrible temptation! but, I can control my hands! So... quick Dolor, get well for us to go on that shopping trip! Which reminds me... I'm missing my babez, Pickleberryfairy, Rosa dearie, my Lil bao and her darlin and her whole grooving grouppies.
I simply can't wait for the holidays which is currently starting the end of Nov instead of mid Nov. With concert, funfair, orienation for new intake and for planning for the kids camp, I''ll be mugging endless for the weekends for the next couple of weeks. Just pooped my vitamins and hopefully getting ready soon to head out despite my bed seemed so ever comfortable. "Nope! Get your lazy ass off!!!! Work work work!"
The ipod's been playing tunes that gets me grooving, emo and simply not myself.
It's bad at times, cause it affects the whole working mind and body.
Sometimes I find myself just being lost in transition and time
Reflecting on issues on myself. I often thought you would only refelct when u're older in life. Guess what, I came to a point to realise "I'm 22 and going 23" which was a good wake up call of everything that has been happening in my life. Reflections are a part and parcel of life, how people made you see their faces, mask and images of events and happenings. I thought alot about the past, of how I made one unhappy, how I made one miserable, and how I lost one I loved with my heart. At the end of everything, it's a closed book that make me reflect about how imperfect I was to be the cause of these. Maybe I am the cause of these events in my life, but right now, who am I to blame or push the blame. No one and not even myself. Things happen for a reason, tears fall for a reason, the heart hurts for one, the mind plays for none.
Reflecting on this is a funny bliss of what I am now, stronger, more matured in my thinking and views, more secured about the things around me and I have gained trust in myself and the people around my life. I fell thrice for one in the past, I fell over and over again these days even when I'm already down. Each time the new chapter begins, I turn the page of my life and write something new. Even though, there are nights I'm down and lost, losing away from myself and this reality world, I fight this fear of falling and hurting even if it takes tears and pain. I have gain trust in myself and for the people who cared and know how this really feels, I thank you for picking me up when the broken pieces fell in front of me.
I'm not afraid to say that u'll never feel this pain that's left here and how memories linger in this mind that flashes back and forth without a trace. Maybe someday you'll understand what love really meant and how much it meant, maybe someday. who knows? maybe not a day.
We don't know life takes us, where fate plays this game on each of us.
But we know, we learn in life, we understand in hearts.

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 5:05 PM*

Thursday, October 13, 2005

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 12:02 AM*

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 12:18 AM*

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 12:09 AM*

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I lost myself once again
the scars to deep to vanish
trust and believe is what Egeria has said
Trust that I can get over this
and believe I can get over it.
Why is all I could ask
Why?
As much as I know the reason why
I know the reason for hurting
Thanks C.lee for trying to console me
U've already pushed me back to this reality
I saw a bus 35 today
the bus that brought you to a end of singapore
where you take a ferry and escape this world
It hit me right straight where it was already hurting
I wished yours truly didn't have to go so early
the night wasn't like before
sleep wasn't the same like before
I need to forget, I need to stop hurting
Ever wonder what is it like to be hit in the heart where it's already hurting most
to know that it would hurt yet you have no ways of stopping it
it breaks you like a broken glass, your head's shot into shattered pieces
U don't know which to save first
your heart of love or your mind of memories
I lost both...
hope the two of you are happy now

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 4:45 AM*

Sunday, October 09, 2005

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 1:21 AM*

I broke down in front of you today
I thought I was strong enough to face this truth
There's just too many things on my mind
I had to let go instead of running
Ever thought what was it like to fall when you have already fallen
and no matter how much you try to get up
the mind just gets out of control
and your body not move an itch.
It puzzles your mind how you fell and why did you even fall
How the cuts bled yet you're numb
The people seem to come and go and not stop
All you could think was "Could I just lie and never get up?"
Exhausted, tired and drained out of that energy
All you wished was a glass of Martini to cease that moment of helplessness
Think I have an alter ego in me
that seems to have various voices that whispers within
Endless voices that make me seem not to focus abit.
I'm losing it, the willpower to ever move on
literally draining my focus in my priorities, my goals, my dreams.
The pressure of work hits me down under
being that perfect educator that people expect of me
the expectations of being perfect affects the focus in my workload
that is piling like none before
The past scars me like it did before
I need to get back here
to reality, the reality of this world of my life.
The question is where to begin?
When to begin? How to begin? and What to begin?
The drive of being perfect with courage
Where did all of these disappeared to?
I told someone today that I'm lost
and when I'm lost, my mind plays with me
so does the heart.
At the end of all these, some get hurt including myself.
It's just how you see and understand what I'm going through
We spoke of old loved we had and how I felt after all of them
When Aaron and I ended and we moved along, it's funny how never could I feel one making me feel how I was with him.
It became a standard he set you might say.
But it's not, hard to explain. I would rather call it
"It was just a feeling of being loved on top of the world at that point of time" For an ex gf of mine, I realised what was wrong that never should have started. I grew to love her when we started, it wasn't I loved her and I know I wanted to be with her.
Next, came one I knew I loved with all my heart despite the many trails and fate played with us. I dreamt of the day of being his and having his kids. I saw us spending our lives together.
I was on top of the world having him and being apart of him.
But what I see now, was "Was he too? being part of me?"
It was like the last, he grew to love in the process,
and not love and wanted to be with me
because he wanted to at the every start.
As much as it hurt still, I guess he found someone who love him the way he wanted more than I do
and make him happy more than I did.
Memories will always stay, but I guess they would only live here and not anywhere else.
And I guess that's how far I could go, to shed a tear to let go and tell myself "I should go...."
I told Dolor today of the many things that filled my mind and heart how imperfect I'm beginning to feel once again
how I might fall when I've already fallen so deep
yet I know the bruise won't be too bad
cause I'm numbed to it.
Thank you...
for the times you stood by me and offered a shoulder to cry
for the times you gave me courage to pick up the broken pieces
for the times you showed me there is more to life
for the times you showered me with encouragement and love
for the times you gave care more than what I needed
for the times you believed in me
for just believing in just being me
Thank you and I love you for that.
"I'm on top of the forbidden city with a waving flag and a Cadbury chocz on the other hand"
*Winks*
You know how this hearts hurts when you see the tears
yet you wiped it away and say "I'm always here"
the love you show is incredible
no words can explain it, only you know.
For that little moment of tangled emotions and loss,
I pushed myself back to this reality world
to be responsible for my actions and identity
to move on and be strong in my emotions
I'm stronger and more matured now
No longer the one I used to be
the stranger in disguise
the girl with the broken dreams
if only you could understand me someday and someway
I thought of dreams today
of seeing pyramids, koalas and a yankees game, of farm stays for feeding lambs, seeing a beautiful sunset and
watching the gunners for just one match.
But dreams are just dreams, they are dreams that might fulfill my this life and not the next
You might say dreams might come true, I know that too
But, I guess fate might let me have just one dream
for me to know I'm ready to leave this world.
I long for a sight of the beautiful sunset
for me to stare at the sun and not be taken away again
Dream... just a dream.
Poof back! to this world of reality
I might make it back here
I will and I will do it right.

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 12:57 AM*

Friday, October 07, 2005

Daylight on my shoulder
Makes me feel alive
You kept me standing in your shadow
And it's a cold cold place to hide

I'm running away from this messed up place
I'm breaking free, yeah yeah

I'm tired of staring at the sun
Can't stand the way you burn my eyes so I can't see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don't need this kind of light coz now I'm done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun

I know you won't let me
But just turn and walk awayI'm tired of when you kick me around
Trying to kill my dreams and break me down
But I won't hang around

I'm running away from this messed up place

I'm breaking free, yeah yeah

I'm tired of staring at the sun
Can’t stand the way you burn my eyes so I can't see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don't need this kind of light coz now I'm done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
I was staring at the sun
Daylight on my shoulder
I know its time to run
Yes I know its time to run

I'm tired of staring at the sun
Can't stand the way you burn my eyes so I can't see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don't need this kind of light coz now I'm done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
Yeah, yeah staring at the sun
You took everything while I was staring at the sun

Staring at the sun ~ Rooster

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 11:30 PM*

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Finally a day where I sit on this chair and ponder upon my life
Been running up and down
Feeling like a bookie today to sell off the Michael Buble tixs
As some would know, dearie's down with chicken pox
what a timing isn't it?
Fated I guess! But well, the tix are sold to one of my besties NiC!

Haven't been myself lately, my focus aint too right
Some have asked if I was alright
Seems like many saw the change in me
the stress is buliding in me

So many events to plan for the school,
From costumes, to fun fair, to orientation, to deadlines, to dance pratices
to endless tuitions, to children's exams to god knows what!
Where is time and focus when I need them?

I pondered of many things that happened throughout these 3 months
as I played Kevin Kern's tunes that were once sent to me by and old one
Memories flashed back were too strong to handle.
I pondered so hard, it hurt too bad.
I guess happiness is found somewhere else but here
and that it wasn't meant to be here.

The iPod updater is taking so freaking long!
and it's shuting my eyes.
Tomorrow is another day, last day of the week!
1. Big birthday party at work
2. Heading down to PS to pass the tickets, supermarket shopping for Dolor and heading to her place!
3. Sunday is family dinner! Auntie's 60th birthday! big dinner though my sister and I aint looking too forward to meet some others.
4. And yes, another week again with three times tuition a week and yes, home sweet home late everyday and of course taking care of dear dolor..... *Grinz*

And there the story goes
what a night it has been!
running here and there
maybe someday I'll run away from here...
Good night

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 11:56 PM*

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Random Ramblings

1. Finally installed my CS photoshop with screwing the installation!
2. Been down with this bad fever/headache/body-ache/funny tummy/no appetite!
3. Currently living on panadols and painkillers to survvie the pain for the day
4. Yes! I'm going for Michael Buble with Joey! Yippeee!
5. Hopefully get to meet my sex guru for her birthday lunch tomorrow!
6. The pain is back and it's killing me
7. Maybe you might never see me tomorrow. White roses
8. Waffles was great after Corpse Bride especially with you.
9. Concert details for the kiddos are planning planning planning
10. I got a big children's party on Friday! Need games! need games!!! Help!

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 11:18 PM*

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 10:51 PM*

Last Saturday's dinner with Lil Bao and Audrey was a little blast!

With a little long carpark wait that Joey and I had around Esplanade!

We moved to Park Mall instead!

Double Date you might say!

But...

The date went perfect with a little indulgence with Aud and me and the Digi's

and of course the otherof our silly ones trying to "act cool" with the magazines!

Drove down to Liquid Room after dinner with a quene so long

yet all we took was 20 secs and Zoom...

All of us were in a Jam packed club with the DJ spinning for the nite!

Squeeze and non stop squeezing.. an hour was enough to kill!

My tummy's feeling funny that night

Shoo the funny tummy!

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 10:34 PM*

Saturday, October 01, 2005

I wish I knew

How.

Why.

and

What's on your mind.

or is it just

ALL in the MiNd

Maybe someday I'll know, would it be too late?

*RAmblinGs oF a bEaUtiFuL LeTdoWn@ 12:27 AM*